Look, I don't want to be the word police. I think there is too much of that going around these days. But language does matter. The words we choose to describe our kids set a tone. Regardless of how you feel about the causes of Autism, labeling them and their siblings "victims" sets the wrong tone. "Victim" connotes a wounded, helpless individual to be pitied. I will have none of that for my son. And I certainly will not allow his neurotypical older sister to accept the notion that she is a "victim."
Both of my kids are strong, capable and courageous people. Over my dead body will they be treated like "victims".