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Friday, March 22, 2013

What Do You Say?

"What Do You Say?"

A friend of mine recently announced that he and his wife were expecting their first child.  He explained that his wife was "worried sick" about the prospects of Autism. 

Another friend recently confided in me that he and his wife were beginning to "have concerns" that there might be issues with their young son. 

What do you say?  How do you answer these things?  How do you explain that, while nobody would sign up for such a life-altering curve ball, a life with Autism is not something to offer condolences for?  How do you describe the depths of love they will find within themselves if, and when, their fears are confirmed?  How can you possibly communicate the incredible rewards that lie ahead for their family as they learn to celebrate each and every Tiny Victory that typical families too often take for granted?  Is it possible to effectively explain the feeling of unity and love they will find within their marriage if they commit to fighting back the stress, fear and blame?

All I could say was, "Look.  Everything is going to be O.K.  I promise that in ten years you will look back on today and laugh at your silly worrying about the future." 

Whether or not they become an Autism family, those words will ring true.  I guarantee it.


  1. I think you said it perfectly. Another wonderful post!

  2. being an autism mama has not only humbled me and taught me about true love, compassion and patience, but it's de-sensitized me in a way- I used to get those angry, hurt feelings when someone approached our saying, "our son is autistic" with the common sad face and "aw, that's a shame," or "I'm so sorry." but I no longer get those feelings. I'm able to smile when I think of our bright boy and how truly colorful our life is now. It's not that I ever wanted autism to be a part of our family, but now that it's here- it's always been here- I don't know if I'd necessarily kick it out, either.

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